Epic Mickey - Wii

I don't know how, but someone has given Warren Spector permission to take Mickey Mouse and almost make it scary. I say almost because unfortunately there quite a bit of difference between the concept art:

and the screen shots from the actual game:

Which is a shame because I liked the idea of Mickey having to survive in a Fallout 3 inspired nuclear waste land.

The plot is bizarre to say the least:
"A long time ago, the sorcerer Yen Sid created a pen-and-paper world for his forgotten characters, held in an intricate model on a table, and accesible through a mirror. Mickey who finds himself inside Yen Sid's study, sees the model, and waits until Yen Sid is gone before going back to take another look at it, fiddling with it, Mickey accidentally trips through the mirror, spilling paint thinner and twisting the world. He managed to escape without Yen Sid knowing, returning to his world he went on to live years of success and fame, but his meddling had consequences. The paint and paint thinner have destroyed the world and created an evil being called the "Phantom Blot", who has usurped power from Oswald the Lucky Rabbit, Yen Sid's first creation before Mickey, and sent the world into ruin. Years later, Mickey is kidnapped by the Phantom Blot and sent into the world. Oswald, his will lost, twisted by his jealousy of Mickey's rise to fame, has formulated a plan to destroy Mickey. The Mad Doctor works closely with the Blot, creating robotic "Beetleworx", which have the appearance of a Cartoon-style Car with a head protruding from the front bumper, made to intimidate and twist Mickey's vision of his friends. He also creates 'buddies' for Oswald, looking like Donald Duck and Goofy, as Oswald wants Mickey's life and popularity for himself. Mickey must stop the Phantom Blot, gain the trust of Oswald and save the forgotten world."
(Taken from Wikipedia)

For the people that haven't heard of Warren Spector: He is most famous for creating Deux Ex for the PC - A cyber-punk RPG/FPS - that was critically acclaimed for its multipath story.He is now adding some Deux Ex magic to Mickey Mouse which will probably created the strangest mashing of genres ever.

"The core of this game is the idea of choice and consequence, and how that defines both the character and the player,” says Spector. "By putting the mischievous Mickey in an unfamiliar place and asking him to make choices – to help other cartoon characters or choose his own path – the game forces players to deal with the consequences of their actions. Ultimately, players must ask themselves, ‘What kind of hero am I?’ Each player will come up with a different answer."

I have no idea which age range this game is being pitched to because I'm pretty sure that anyone under the age of ten, Mickey's biggest fan base, won't get the subtleties of cause and effect game play.

Anyway I'm pretty sure that if the confusing game doesn't get them, the horrific robot Donald Duck will!

I mean look at that! it's the stuff of nightmares, horrible cheese fueled nightmares.

"I want your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle"

Generation Toss: This Will Happen!

Welcome to the year 2054. The world is now a very different place. The first robotic President has been elected in The United States of America, peanuts are now officially called 'freedom pellets', Fuel prices have rocketed due to mass conflicts in the Bosporus so now only the twenty richest men in the world can afford to drive a car, Joan Rivers, Oprah Winfrey and U2 are all now powered by steam and kill everything in their path, indiscriminately and with precious little regard for human life.

Everything is grey and it always rains. Everyone is very sad but things are about to get much worse.Capitalism has caused profit snowballing and the largest multinational corporations have now become so rich that they are set to change the face of the planet forever. Welcome to The Democratic Republic of Fruit Gums formally known as 'Chad', the first country to have it's name changed to a brand. Rowntrees bought the country in 2052 and are in the process of turning it into the world's largest bill board. Billions of pounds have been spent on digging a giant canal system spelling out such products as 'Fruit Pastilles', 'Jelly Tots' and 'Tooty Frooties' in 10 mile high lettering that can be seen clearly from space. 

Medicines and food are now contraband leading to mass starvation and illness. Millions more are expected to suffer. McDonalds has monopolised 50% of the worlds buildings and turned them in restaurants.However because cows have been put on the endangered species list Mcdonalds have developed a new kind of meat made from stars. Statistically every single person will live next to, above, below or in a McDonalds restaurant.

Pavements are now so greasy that Nike have had to develop a new kind of super high grip shoe to make it possible to walk. Leglislation has also been passed to make this footwear mandatory. The punishment for wearing any other footwear is aids. General Motors Company own the copyright to fruit, Coca Cola have cloned 3000 babies, tattooed them with the Coca Cola logo and sent them on a space ship in an attempt to sell the product in other dimensions to maximise profits. Virgin have bought the core of the earth and boasts the only holiday destination that reaches 25 000 degrees Celsius apart from the Sun with is now owned by the Sun newspaper and used to incinerate pedophiles after a weekly vote on the BBC which is still shit and has no money. 

This will happen.

(Some creative writing from Matt Haydock, our new blogger)

GTA 5?

On the back of the Episodes From Liberty City manual (the lastest add-on back for GTA 4)  there is a wonderfully crypic image that has got the Internet in a stir.

It hints at the next location of the new GTA game due to be released in March 2010.

Predictably there has been much speculation. All the Americans are saying that it's somewhere in the USA, while all the British are saying it's somewhere in England.

Now Rock Star started in Scotland and the second GTA game on the PC was set in London. The most recent games have all been set in an America. I think that is could be quite possible that the new one could grace our British shores. Think about the date of release, it's very close to Olympics which is going to be in London. It would be good business to some how tie the two together. GTA 5: Olympic edition. The 100 meter sprint with the Met (Police) chasing after you...maybe not.

However the "Seagull" theater does point to somewhere in the South East of England...Brighton maybe. This would mean a very big game map. Unless the game was going to be set in Brighton, which unforunatly isn't one of the biggest crime hubs in the UK. Unless you count inferior jam with your cream tea a crime.

If it is set in America then the image with trees and the mountains could depict somewhere like Reno and the Rocky Mountains. New England has country side like that too. Anyway I'm sure the speculation with continue.

I hope it is set in the UK. We are definitely due some GTA love.

Zombies Ate My Neighbors - Wii

Lucasarts are finally doing things right. After years in the Star Wars wilderness, they have decided to concentrate on their often exceptional back-catalog.

This has brought us the new Monkey Island games and now some of their older classics that, thankfully, didn't have anything to do with Luke Skywalker or Lego.

Anyway ZAMN (See what I did there?) first reared it's rotting face on the Super Nintendo back in 1993. I think I was about 10, maybe 11 years old and I had just watched Arachnophobia on VHS round Jonathan Wood's house. He had bought an American version of the game that you needed a converter to get to work in his UK system.

Thinking back: I have no idea where he got all these American games from - I seem to remember him owning a lot more. The game was basically a piss-take on the B-Movie horror genre and was great fun to play with a mate. I might hazard a guess that the creators of Left 4 Dead may have even played this game at some point (you never know). You got to choose between 2 rather cool characters and you had to leg it around various themed levels trying to save your neighbors from a quick death; it was that simple. It's one of the first games I remember being REALLY hard. Maybe I was just too young and my hands were too small to work the controller properly. However that didn't seem to stop me being kick-ass at Super Mario Kart - yes Saltdog, far far better then you.

I think the Wii version is a straight conversion so I doubt much has changed. I did hear a rumor that Lucasarts could be working on a brand new installment, which would make sense with all the zombie love going around these days.

Here is some game play footage from the SNES version:

Unfortunately for the Wii, these old games are pretty much all it has going for it. Unless you like Yoga or flapping your arms around like a complete prick. It's a shame because even though Nintendo has been brought back from the brink with this console. I think it maybe secretly dying inside; wishing for games like Left 4 Dead and Bioshock to grace it's waggle stick.

Shed a tear with me for Parent friendly Nintendo. Hopefully it will grow-up in the next great console war. I doubt it though, they are making far too much money.


An annoying presenter, but a great trailer.

Battlestar Galactica - The Plan

Wow, I think this is going to be a historic moment. I'm going to publicly slate Battlestar Galactica.

You see I have just seen their new straight to DVD movie: The Plan. And to be honest I didn't like it. Maybe I have rather high expectations after enjoying the show as much as I did but it really didn't excite me what-so-ever...blasphemy I know!

It follows all four series from the Cylons' perspective. unfortunately it adds nothing to the overall plot, except to fill in a few small gaps with little tit-bits that I think it was have been better left up to us to mull over.

It's more like a collection of deleted scenes left out of the real show, cut together in to a two hours of blah. Sorry I'm getting harsh now and don't mean to be because I did enjoy it, it's just expectations are so high when it comes to BSG. I guess I was hoping for some major revelations, some gigantic twist that would have blown our collective minds. But it was not to be.

I guess the problem they had was how to cram four seasons of a show in to a two hour film, I don't think it can be done, they shouldn't even have tried but unfortunately they know they are on to a good thing and legions of fans will go out and buy it or watch it on Scifi...oh wait it's Syfy now isn't it lol.

Ok there is a bit that sticks in my mind, you get to see a wicked view of the orignal attack on the twelve colonies which does look fantastic. The CGI is always one of the BSG's best features.

Anyway I hope this is the last of the Battlestar addons because it could get old real quick. Don't do a Lucas, don't do a Lucas, don't do a lucas.


I went and watched a rather interesting vampire film last night. Which makes me chuckle because I have made some quite strong claims recently that I would never see any the influx of the fanged-teen-angst-wank infecting our cinemas at the moment.

Luckily this was a film written and directed by Park Chan-wook, the guy that brought us the ultra violent Oldboy. So there was no over-quaffed-vampire-twats in sight, hurray.

The film is about a priest who goes to a Catholic sanctuary where they are trying to cure a fatal disease. He volunteers to be infected so they can find a cure. However for some reason that must of got lost in the subtitles, he gets a blood transfusion from a vampire donor.

He makes an astounding recovery but with some obvious side effects. From here on you would of thought you could of predicted the outcome and you probably could have done if the film wasn't from South Korea.

Now starts the craziness as he discovers sex, murder, Mahjong and a mental new girl friend and her soon to be paralysed mother. I won't spoil the plot, although in all honesty I'm finding it hard to remember a lot of what happened. Least to say it's not your everyday vampire movie. Although it is about love and there is a lot of blood drinking.

Sasha came along to and I think she enjoyed it, although she did miss some of the best bits, her coat had some how made it in to a position that completely obscured her view...not sure how. Later, after chatting over some paella. It turns out that bones snapping out of arms, people being burned alive and fingers being bent back until they break aren't some of her favorite things to watch.

All in all it's a great film, not AS good as Oldboy but worth a watch if you like listening to over exaggerated slurping noises...I know I do.

The Tales of Monkey Island: The Lair of the Leviathan

I had almost forgotten how much I enjoy point and click adventures. I have just completed the latest installment of the computer game sitcom that is The Tales of Monkey Island and if I may, I would like to add that it is the finest so far.

This month we find Guybrush trapped in the stomach of a gigantic Narwhale - cue laughs, silly faces, intestinal fluid, a missing inner. It also has one of the funniest mini games since insult sword fighting. It's called the "face off" and is based on those gurning competitions that rural England seem to love so much.

On a more intellectual note, I think Guybrush has evolved..as a character I mean. At first I thought it was his new 3D body and fancy beard, but I think it's his personality that has changed the most. No longer do you feel you are in control of a inept pirate wannabe, stumbling from dangerous situation to even more dangerous situation. It seems he has embraced his stupidity and has made the puzzle thing his preferred style of combat. Where he once seemed to escape most situations by the skin of his teeth, he always seem to have some underlying plan. I hate to say it but almost like Captain Jack Sparrow...argh.

Anyway bring on the next episode, I can barely contain my piratey excitement.