Death Spank, an Xbox Live game in a similar vein to Diablo and, to some extent, World of WarCraft. It's written by one of the guys that made the original Monkey Island game so it has inherited a sense of humour.

I managed to play the Demo of this game over the weekend. It was the PS3 version and it really did grab my attention.

Here's a screen shot:



Here's the trailer:


Here is a link to a 2D Flash version of the game

And here is me telling you that it's fucking great.

Its based on the whole free running phenomenon and I think it does a great job of putting you in the shoes of one of those nutters. Of course it has a Manga style plot to lead you through the game but thats a positive thing not a negative.

As you can see it uses a first person view for a game that is essentially a platform game. It should feel completely wrong, but do you know what? It feels so incredibly right. For the first time ever I did the whole body movement thing while I was controlling the very attractive young Asian lady as she hurtled across the roof tops. You know the thing, the thing your mum or your sister does when you give them a go on a Mario game. They seem to make these weird body movements in the direction they want their character to move. I have always thought that it was a sign of you being completely absorbed in a game.

Anyway I will be purchasing this little beauty when it's out and I recommend you do to if you like this sort of thing.

I have been following this game all through its creation and I feel it's about time I posted about it considering I have just completed it.

Braid is like a onion, it has layers...lots of layers. On the surface it just looks like a simple platform game. Peel back a layer and you come across the time travel aspect. You could essentially complete the game in 10 minutes but you would be missing the point, as you get to the next layer you discover that you are on a search for your princess who has been kidnapped. However upon completion you realise that there could be a lot more to this plot then a simple rescue mission.

Now you arrive at the last and rather interesting layer, it turns out that you are in fact a scientist. A scientist from the 1940's...in New York, and a member of the Manhattan Project. And your princess is in fact the secret to the Atomic Bomb...

Tim the main character is a dreamer, and likes to get rapped up in his memories and thoughts which are worlds in which you have had to traverse.

I have undoubtedly let a bit more go then I should of but I have a feeling that most people who have played this game haven't discover the real drive behind Tim, and have just enjoyed the puzzle and platform aspect. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with that, its just that there is so much more to this game.

If you have an Xbox 360 then I can't recommend this game enough. I wait with baited breath for Johnathan Blow's next creation, as I have a feeling that he has even better things up his sleeves.

The latest Resident Evil 5 trailer reveals several reasons to be super excited about the sequel to my favourite game of all time, but none of them new. The blood chilling cries of zombie townsfolk can clearly be heard. This was one of the coolest aspects of the last game and I'm glad they've kept it in. Back again are the infamous killer zombie dogs (well, it wouldn't be Res Evil without them). Thank God they've also kept those crazed zombie chainsaw baddies, as being cornered by them is one of the best things about Resident Evil 4. Even the one thing that's got the fans super excited, a female partner, isn't new. Haven't girls been a staple of Resident Evil since day one? I'm glad to see Capcom are applying the good old if it ain't broke, don't fix it reasoning to this. It's going to be amazing.

When watching the trailer, look out for zombies with a very similar bite to Luke Goss's character in Blade 2. Nasty...

So here is the second part of the two part, sort of three part post, you'll see why shortly but first I must explain the other reason for me not posting for a bit and risking the wrath of The Geek, seriously when he gets going he's like a Yorkshire terrier on pcp.








Ok, I told a white lie, Haze did not actually stop me posting because it only took me part of a day to finish. A wasted day if you ask me. I'm wary of being to negative in these things but I think there's a certain level of craftsmanship you should expect from modern games, and Haze was found wanting. Shit, it was found selling the Big Issue outside McDonalds.

This is another example of far too much hype, yet again, once more. However, everything that was hyped, the nectar system and then the rebels using the nectar against the soldiers, all that actually works quite nicely. Problem is when you produce that much hype for an FPS with a new unique aspect it's kind of important to remember the basics.

I'm going to list a few, agree/disagree/suggest more whatever:

1. Decent, interesting, balanced weapons
2. well designed levels that both challenge and entertain
3. an A.I. that doesn't have to be Einstein but at least doesn't make you feel like you walked onto a suicide ward
4. a story that doesn't get in the way of good gaming

I'll leave it there.

So weapons? Unbelievably boring. There are two sets, one for the soldiers and the other for the rebels. I could barely differentiate between the two but why should I need to when you basically just end up using the assault rifle.

I can tell that the levels were probably designed by the work experience boy because I'm sitting here trying to actually remember one and I just can't. Not mention that when looking for images to accompany this post I was stuck as they all looked the same.

A.I. yes it is long film with that annoying child in it. Not much to do with Haze though, when you consider at one point there's was an annoying repetitive sound of someone being hurt. I soon discovered it was a team mate standing on a fire, thats it, just standing, while he burned. Perhaps they came up with an amazing new system of a sliding scale A.I. were intelligence varies and some characters are really freaking stupid, a new attempt at realism?

Oh boy the story, well actually thats not too bad; I'd say your typical FPS narrative with a nice twist that you switch sides a one point. So would someone like to explain to me why I had to sit through the lengthy verbose bollocks speeches? Every time you finished a level all you did was sit and listen to someone natter at you for god knows how bloody long. Gee thanks mate, now I feel you have develop the story sufficiently that my character is fleshed out. OR you found new ways to destroy my remaining brain cells with you pointless drivel.

At this point I was going to discuss the glitches but I can't be arsed to complain any more. So I'll will just say - yup every game has them but the shit that was happening here is just not on for a game of this size.

Needless to say I was very disappointed, not as much as my friend who had spent his hard earned cash on it, fool.

Part 3 (sort of)

After playing these two new Next Gen titles; GTA IV I highly recommend though it is flawed, and Haze...I have enough coasters thank you; I got to thinking is Next Gen worth it?

We have all these titles coming out extolling the virtues of Next Gen technology and when they arrive it seems more often than not their a bit naff. Why?

Too much hype? A focus on gimics rather than solid gaming?

I feel we have lost our way, as I said yesterday we're all hungry for the next fix, the latest innovation. Game designers are spending so much time trying to make games look prettier or give you some amazing new way to play something you've been playing for years they forgot the basics. We forgot the basics.

Take Resistance: Fall of Man, this was the first Next Gen title I played, yup it looked amazing so a good start and then everything else about it was a fairly standard FPS. You know what though, don't think I've played any Next Gen game as much. No they didn't break new ground, but they stomped all over the old ground in big shiny ass-kicking boots. And when the sequel comes out I may have to book that day off work.

I say shove your "exciting new gameplay" up your arse and give me a decent game. You polish a turd it's still a turd, remember that.

Next up is MGS:4 holiday smackdown, yup I'm taking holiday to play a game, some people sleep in a mobile shed. Don't feel I have to worry here Kojima isn't stupid, he knows what works, he owns this.

Sweet.

This is an entry of two parts, well three technically but who's counting besides me and the OCD readers. I haven't posted for a bit for a very good reason, I've been far too busy playing games. Then I felt a little guilty, and slightly worried that The Geek would start texting nasty things about my manhood if I didn't post.

So what have I been playing? Stupid question as it's in the title. More importantly, was it worth my time?

Considering how precious and under demand my time is (quiet Tom, it is and you know it) I have mixed feelings about how to answer this. Lets begin with GTA IV.






The subject of much controversy the folks at Rockstar have yet again excelled themselves with another fantastic game. Having set themselves up with what has become a long line of great games it was inevitable, though I must warn you that in a short while there is a "but". Just, you know, to soften the blow and make it clear I don't have some teenage crush on this game (I can get a little excited at times yes).

When we started playing GTA what hits you first is how damn pretty it looks, the detailing in this latest installment is awesome and the often dodgy draw distance has been greatly improved. This is made even more effective when the superb weather effects reduce this such as in storms or fog, and can I say it's some of the most realistic storm effects I've ever seen.


Woah that was geeky. Anyway on with the important hoopla, the killing. There definitely seems to be a focus on more realism than in previous versions and you are now able to use cover. Something which is rather important on missions such as the "Heat"-esque bank robbery were every copper and his mum is shooting at you. A mission which is made all the more satisfying by the beautifully rendered car explosions.


Another fine detail is the animation in just getting to the afore mentioned cover, the character Nikko uses many methods to rush and slide into position which is always fun to watch as well being as very well executed.

Two main center pieces in the game are your mobile phone and the Internet, new to the game they provide you with missions as well as other interesting extras. Its such an ingenious update on the old method of gameplay and I felt really refreshed the experience. It does have it's drawbacks however when your girlfriends and other friends constantly call asking for dates, perchance a little extreme on the realism here.

Another feature of the mobile is access to the multiplayer, the biggest addition to the franchise and in my opinion the best. This is pure and simple genius. Simple because what else have we wanted from GTA but the ability to do drive-bys with a group of friends. Though there are a number of different game types I must say I've focused on the Deathmatch and Team Deathmatch. It truly is the most fun you can have with your pants on, or even off, some nights when I'm feeling a little crazy, whose going to know. Rockstar have not over done the multiplayer which can often be a problem, here it's simple and accessible.


Right now I bet you thinking, where's his but? Well, maybe not that exactly.

Lets forget about the multiplayer, that rocks, nuff said. And before I say anything else I think you should buy this game but (there it is, I know your relieved, me too) I must ask this of the single player - what's the point?

Odd question I know but it is an issue I had, there is no point. Now you could have a philosophical argument about the the "point" of any game so I'll make myself clear. Beyond completing the story line and the pedantic no lifer 100% completion there's not much else. There's no challenge.

You don't really need to do anything other than the story because there's not really much to achieve, and the only place were there are perks you have to suffer the inane drivel that is GTA dating. All your houses are given to you, there's a limited wardrobe and you soon have enough money to cover the cost of the epic amounts of weaponry you need, money well spent of course. Thus doing extra jobs to earn money becomes pointless because you don't need it.

Gone is the moment of satisfaction as you buy a bigger safe house, or that great moment when you realise you don't have to drive halfway across town to save your hours of gameplay(something which is no longer a problem as there's an autosave, woot I just love having everything handed to me on a plate). There's certainly no saving up to buy that new business to earn you extra cash for a bigger, better safe house that whole aspect has gone.

As I ponder this I stumble in my own meandering fashion upon another factor, out of all the GTA the plot of this one feels most like the orginal GTA, 2D. You bounce around the islands being everyones errand boy, never getting bigger jobs, higher rank, anything really. Your just a lackey. I remember Vice City, the great way you started out with nothing and by the end your in the "Scarface" mansion and your the boss. What do you get here? Some guy dropped off at the airport, woot.

What went wrong?

I think it's the glamour of Next Gen. Rockstar seem to have spent so much time engrossed with the "new", with the Next Gen, they forgot what made these games great and then they left it out, shivering in a corner like those dogs in charity adverts. We're to blame too, always clamouring for the next hit, for the newest gimic, because this isn't just a GTA problem, oh no it's much bigger. Can't be arsed telling you about that now though got myself all worked up, piss off.

See you in part 2.

Sweet.

Not really sure about that title there, bit pretentious you think?

Anyway, something odd happened the other day, I'm on the Playstation store and I come across a game trailer for a game I'd never heard of, I know, shocking.

Said game is called Mirror's Edge and is a FPS from DICE the creators of the Battlefield series. You take the role of a lady named a Faith who is a futuristic delivery girl called a runner (aren't they the poor sods that get tea for everyone in the entertainments industry) trying to clear her name of a murder charge, so the experience as a runner comes in handy then.

The game uses parkour, something which is becoming more and more popular in games design (and subsequently more and more boring), however it has until now been the realm of third person games. Something about this looks different though, everything does in fact, it stands out. And then I realized what it was, its so bright, and I still don't really understand why but it just made me want to play.

I'm always looking at new game trailers and recently I can't say anything has got me tingly, till I saw this.

Sweet.

A quick search for BBC GTA on Google demonstrates that actually, the BBC can't make up their mind about Grand Theft Auto 4.

They seem to follow populist in whichever section of the media they're operating. For news it's outrage, for tech it's the greatest thing ever.

The BBC have done it again...

I woke up this morning, bleary eyed. Stumbled across by bedroom and turned on my TV; the first thing I normally I do. I enjoy the dull monotones of Breakfast on the BBC, it helps me wake up.



This morning my anger levels started to rise as my poor sleepy ears picked up what could only be described as the complete and utter bollocks that was being farted out of my TV's speakers.

Yes that's right Grand Theft Auto 4 was released today in the UK, and guess what. The BBC have decided its the end of the world.

Ugly old crone, and doddering old man as I like to call them where at it again. Trying their hand at reporting popular culture but unfortunately as usual, messing it up with their lack of experience in that perticular field (because they are old and ugly).

The two presenters rapped-up in their hatred for the game that the two experts they had in to give the normally balance BBC view got made to look like, violence obsessed freaks.

The experts were trying to promote the free rooming nature of the game, and the fact that the developers had successfully created a main character which isn't this Russian immigrant that is plastered all over the package. But the actual city it self.



But apparently that is not the reason the BBC had decided to talk about that game today. They were out for blood.

"Surely violent games are bad for kids"

"Violent games aren't ethical"

"Kids can't tell the difference between games and real life anymore"

"ALL THE WORLDS PROBLEMS MUST BE DOWN TO COMPUTER GAMES!!!!!!"

CHRIST ON A CRUTCH

So I guess parenting definitely isn't a factor in how kids behave. Kids just do what Rockstar tell them.

Oh but its gets so much better. They finished this pathetic little piece with the passing comment that, in-fact both of them have never actually played the frigging game.



UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE

What made me laugh the most is the people the presenters think they represent the most, where in-fact phoning in and texting saying things, like:

"Well its a 18 certificate game, its not for kids"

"Its the parents fault for buying their kids the game in the first place"

"It's just like letting your 10 year old kid watch Scarface, you wouldn't let them do that. So why buy them a 18 certificate computer game"

To be honest, I shouldn't have really expected much. These are the people that said that gaming on the the Wii would never beat the excitement of a good book, or was that news night.

Anyway I know this show is probably aimed at an older audience, but I have never seen more a more shit fueled ten minutes of TV in my whole life.

RANT OVER!

I have been gathering together some more tip-bits on some of the most interesting independent, art house and just plan cool games on the web.

Braid

Braid(interesting name)...lots of blog have been playing test versions of this game and have been saying stuff like:

"The preview build of Braid comprises one of the most interesting, satisfying, beautiful game experiences I’ve ever had..."

And

"Let it be known that, at the time of writing, I envy every single person who reads this preview. Why? Because I’ve just started up … Braid for the first time, and I’ll never get to do it again. I’ll be able to play it again, sure, but it won’t ever be the same as it was just now. I can’t, unlike the game’s protagonist, rewind time and have the same experience again."

Rather high praise indeed, and to be honest. It’s hard not to get rather excited with those kinds of comments flying around. However, I haven’t played it, so I can’t really jump on the cock sucking bandwagon.

But we can all gawk at the rather impressive visuals...and they are impressive!

More games should have this hand drawn look; I think it make’s a game look loved. Like the people behind it actually care about what they are making. Not like these corporate clone games, rendered in their flawless 3D, with their voice acting and online multiplayer modes. Don’t get me wrong, I like a good mass marketed shoot ‘em up like the next guy. But I’m the first to admit that they lack soul – and a game has gots’ta have soul, its just gots’ta

I guess these Independent games are incredibly similar to independent film. The people behind them make up for the lack of finance with ingenuity and good old fashioned hard graft.

It’s a game for the Xbox 360, probably going to be sold through their Virtual console thingy. I think it looks worthy of my time and money. Just so I can give some of my money to the right peoplef for a change.



Braid Blog

Linger in shadow

Now, I have no idea what this is. Is it a tech demo? Is it in game footage?
Kotaku has no idea either. But it does show off the capabilities of the PS3.

Problem is that if it is just a tech demo, then it goes in the box with all the rest. It’s one of the PS3’s major flaws:

TOO MANY TECH DEMOS, NOT ENOUGH IMPLEMENATION OF THE TECHNOLOGY!

Give them games, actual games people can play. Imagine that. If it is a game, then it smells a lot like some kind of Final Fantasy clone.

Love

I’ve decided to follow this one. The MMO that I mentioned a few posts back. It sounds awesome. But I do have one reservation about it. What normally happens when you give people the chance to manipulate anything in a persistent online world, they tend to course utter Chaos. Just look at the mess that is Second Life.



I hope this doesn’t go the same way but it’s hard to see how it won’t. We just love to annoy each other, especially when it’s behind a face less avatar where you don’t have to take any responsibility for your behaviour.

I like the idea that people can create their own story. "Hey, you were that guy that ruined this section of the environment with all these annoying statues"

This is a question has been thrown around a lot recently. Apparently a dead sheep in a box is considered art, but a computer game that can touch you on an emotional level, and just genuinely looks amazing isn’t. Its utter maddness.

The bigger problem is how games are perceived by our ageing population. They seem to think it perfectly acceptable to sit down in front of mind dissolving soap all night, but then they have the gall to question you when you spend more the 30 minutes playing a computer game, and not joining in with their vigil in front of the twat box.

Charlie Brooker seems to be the only sensible voice on TV when it comes to defending our genre. A rare visionary in a sea of absolute idiots.



The BBC are the worst offenders when it comes to games coverage. Their ridiculously ill informed views on gaming actually make me sick to my stomach. I literately shout abuse at the TV when I see some of their reports.

"A computer game will never beat a good book"

That sentence was actually uttered by a BBC reporter when discussing the Wii...I MEAN COME ONE, HOW OUT OF TOUCH ARE YOU!

Phew, I just need to take a moment to catch my breath.

Anyway back to games and art. Here are two examples of what I consider art. They are both made by independent gaming companies, as the creatives in the industry tend to gravitate there.

Love

Little is now about this game, except that it’s a little bit like a MMORPG, little bit like a FPS, and a little bit like an adventure game. Sounds sweet huh?







I’m assuming that these are just bits concept work, but if they try and keep this visual style then I think it will be an incredibly impressive game. One that I will definitely be seeking out for purchase.

Limbo

Again, little is know about this game. I’m guessing that it’s a platformer that will probably appear on the PC, it Might turn up on Xbox Live. But it's worth going to their site and watching the trailer.







I think at some point in the future, games will come of age. It will probably be with my generation. I’m 24, my brother is 31 and we are still in to gaming. We refuse to give up something that we enjoy just because it is seen as immature.

FUCK YOU OLD PEOPLE, AND FUCK YOU BBC!

Phew, rant over!

Mr Geek has been having some nostalgia trips recently, and then I saw this and had one of my own.

I remember the original Alone in the Dark, the whole creepy Lovecraft story and the graphics of a cubist nightmare. I played that game to hell and back, hours of joy. Of course it did take a large portion of your day just to fire a gun at the almost motionless monsters, but screw that you can't beat childhood memories like that.

Then I see this and there's stuff with lights and that physics juju going on. I did a sex wee, I don't mind admitting that. If the story is still messed up and this game play really is this good you can screw nostalgia I'll take next-gen any day. So I'm fickle.

Sweet

Gaming innovation doesn’t really come along that often but when it does its one of those things that I think has to be savoured. I also think that it’s the responsibility of the people in the know to spread the word about these gems, be it word of mouth or via a blog post.

So meet Pez. Don’t let the first minute of this trailer fool you; it fooled me. I thought this was just a clip from an old Snes game. Oh boy was I wrong.

Take a look:


(It's basically Paper Mario on crack)

From what I can gather the game will be launched on the Xbox live Arcade where hopefully this independent developer will receive some of the much earned profits. Apparently this game was built using XNA software. According to microsoft its “a powerful next-generation software development platform. XNA empowers developers to deliver breakthrough games while combating rising production costs and ever-increasing hardware complexity”

Hopefully this means a whole new generation of independent games companies will be able to sell their wares to a wider audience. Much like the internet did for up and coming rock bands...the next few years could be the start of a influx of new independent games.

Here are some others that I know about and are worth checking out:

Crayon Physics
Aquaria
Cloud

I think Tom has a prerequisite that he can't be friends with you unless your a geek, and I am a big ol' geek. Even next to Tom, yes he may have the moniker of Geeky Tom but you betta believe I taught him everything he knows.

Back in our heyday we laid waste to numerous video games, completely sustaining the trade-in market of Sheffield. But there was one game he missed, and boy did he miss out.

Burnout Revenge was an immense game in every respect, you don't often get games that are close to perfect and you least of all expect it to be a racing game of all things. Lets get this clear, racing games suck! Bottom line. You go round and round trying to shave half a second off another repetitive lap, wow, rewarding.

So how can I say Burnout Revenge was near perfect?

I shall tell you.

Very simple really, its bloody fun. Now this was before the arm waving joy of the wii and games were much more serious and reserved back then. Burnout though just made you wwwwwoooo at your tv. Sweet.

And so we come to Burnout Paradise. A whole new beast. A short while a go I played a demo and was blown away. Burnout is simple, drive eye bleedingly fast and smash stuff. So imagine you can go eye bleedingly fast and smash stuff in a free roaming environment.


Never crossed your mind? Course it didn't, it's insane. A free roaming driving game! Evil genius. Not just that but it works, you speed across the city stumbling (at mind blowing speed) across hidden paths and collectibles, then when you fancy something more structured you pull up at a junction, away you go.

The system just works. The important thing with this game is speed and in no time at all you can be doing any number of things from straight up races to stunt runs and road rage( thats were you have to smash fellow racers from the road). Win and you get upgrades on your license and new cars.

So your having ridiculous fun, yes, but how does it look. If I'm honest I don't care because I'm having so much fun, then I manually compact my car with the use of a boost and a wall. Sweet mother of god does it look good! In beautifully detailed slow-mo you get to witness every crushing moment. The beauty does not end there however because Paradise is skillfully rendered and even at the brake neck speeds you can't help glancing in awe. Then of course you crash, but at least it looks good.

So I'm burning through the streets of Paradise from the tight hair raising city streets to the long winding roads in the mountains when I realize something. There's some very important things missing. Key things even.

1.No crashes
2.No aftertouch
3.No reset

One of the most fun elements in any Burnout game is the crash mode. Here you aim your car down a road and try to create as much damage as possible, fun but surprisingly challenging. Paradise however doesn't have this. Why? May have something to do with the free roaming, frankly I don't give a cheese cracker. I want my crashes!

Another element from previous games is the aftertouch. This meant if you crashed during a race you could maneuver your wreck and stop other racers passing you. Very satisfying. Unless its missing, which it is.

And finally, the oh so horrendous, the oh so painful problem of no restarts. You fail a race that's it. You want to run that race again? Then you have to drive all the way back to the start. I read the idea was there was enough races available so you can just start another. Screw you I want that race, but no I have to drive all the way back, great.

So other than the restarts the game is held back by the fact it follows a near perfect game. Is that fair? Not at all. Tough luck, you shouldn't of called it Burnout then. Still I am going to play it till my eyes melt in their sockets and I'm forced to play by sound alone, like some gaming monk.

I told a lie. They didn't get rid of crash mode altogether, they have this thing called showtime, its...well its a bit silly but quite honestly its still fun. Damn it I love fun. Check this out.

I decided to play that strange little game that goes by the name of Katamari Damacy for the first time over the weekend.

What a beautifully crafted and addictive game….BUT…there is something going on under the surface of this game that needs investigating.

Can no one see where I am going with this, has no one else seen the evil that is afoot.

For Christ sake, you play a little goblin man with a tampon for a head who wears a hideous day glow 80’s tracksuit, and you aim is to roll up the world in to a big ball and launch it in to space.

Jack Bauer wouldn’t stand for it that’s for sure; these little goblins are a threat against our national security….no our GOLBAL security.

These goblins start off their rolling ball thingy and it’s tiny. They would be hardly noticed in our busy world as people go about their daily business. But soon it’s big enough to envelope cars, then cities and then whole continents….by then it’s far too late. You will bare witness to destruction on a global scale, the UN wouldn’t stand a chance, the Red Cross would be brought to its knees and the human race would be wiped out.

All this done at the hands of 80’s day glow goblins. This may seem like the ramblings of a mad man, but there is video evidence for these global terrorists below,




Any way if you would like to play evil incarnate in a tracksuit, you can soon on the Xbox 360. All purchases of this game will be monitored!.....by me, probably using Facebook some how.

Some stories can't be told in words, some legends are meant to die.......

Wow, look at snakes face, loot at it...he's bloody old but he still looks like he could kick your arse. Either that or theres a squirrel biting his balls!



Each and every Metal Gear installment has always just blown me away. The story, the game play.....they are just impeccable.

I can't describe to you how excited I am about what looks to be the last Metal Gear in this current story line, Metal Gear 4: Guns of the patriots.

Watch this 14 Minute trailer and wait for the last battle around 11min 23secs. If any game was meant for cinema then this is it.

I am great big fan of teaser trailers. Especially ones about the end of the world. I know nothing about Fallout 3, though to be honest this trailer is all I need to know. Actually, I lie. I do know that its made by Bethesda who have made some of my favourite games of all time....anyway watch the future of mankind below.

No I haven’t gone completely insane, let me introduce to a game that I have been obsessing about for the last few months.

Bioshock, from the guys that brought you system shock 1 and 2 is a First person shooter set in a 1940s art deco wonder land.


Basically the plot goes a little something like this; your plane crashes in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, by chance you survive and spot a random looking light house jutting out the sea. Upon entering the place and descending the stairs downwards you find a bathysphere (a spherical deep-sea submersible which is unpowered and is lowered into the ocean on a cable). You decide, well hay lets take a trip downwards, I was going that way anyway. This is when it starts getting rather strange; the bathysphere takes you to a huge underwater city called rapture.


Now rapture was apparently created as a utopian Society by some Russian fellow called Andrew Ryan in the 1940’s. Now Ryan envisioned the ultimate capitalistic and individualist paradise with the elite achieving for themselves rather then for the great unwashed (sounds great doesn’t it). Ryan filled it with the best examples of mankind, scientist’s musicians and the place apparently prospered. Oh for all the people who are saying, well how did they breath down there and what did they eat. Well they thought of that didn’t they! The whole place was entirely self-supporting, with all of its electricity, food production, water purification and defense systems powered by undersea volcanic openings, so there. Its starting to sound like a certain TV show that I that I do a podcast for.


Well, when you finally arrive in the city everything seems to have gone to shit. Its vast underground living areas and laboratory complexes scarred by the effects of the civil war and poisoned by biological weapons, there are loads of dead bodies around but you can bet your arse that not everyone is dead. Something definitely went down in this place and I guess the game is to find out why.

Sounds amazing doesn’t it, especially when find out that all the citizens have been genetically modifying themselves to the point when they aren’t really human anymore. What’s even cooler is that you can modify yourself to get wicked abilities, like firing bees out your arms….. I’ve always wanted to cover people in bees.


Roaming around this cities are creatures called big daddies and little sisters. The big daddies protect the little sisters (who appear just to be scared little girls). You find out early on that these little sisters have genetic material you need to survive so you have to do anything to get it and I mean anything. Apparently you don’t actually see the slaughter of these little sisters but they don’t seem to be able to survive the genetic material extraction process, what ever that is.

Anyway the game throws up a lot of moral issues like shall I kill the little girl or not?


I can see this is causing a lot of controversy here in the UK, I better buy it before they ban it.

well, I am been following this game for a huge amount of time.

I don't buy a large amount of games, but Bioshock is definetly going to get bought on the day of release.

Heres the story of the game directly off the site:


Now how can you say that doesnt sound bloody amazing!!!!

I am getting lost vibes from it to be honest.